Anonymous asked: <3<3<3 you're so beautiful to me.

thank you, little messages like this make me smile. you are beautiful as well, I’m sure of it.

Anonymous asked: hi beautiful nigga. i can't wait to see your face again. i miss you and love you a lot. volleyball will be 20 bajillion times better with you. <3

I miss you lots and lots and lots and can’t wait to have all our adventures again and be fat and order too much shaved ice <3

we’ll make a dream team for IMs hehe

note to self-

stop reading sad books
and watching sad movies

so quiet
too quiet

beautiful things sprout from the most rotten of experiences. I believe this more than anything, but it is hard to remember when we give in to ourselves and the things we fear the most. I am not neurotic, but sometimes I truly think there is something strange and obscure about this kind of processing— that it is warped in some flower petals drowning in the sea sort of way. I am trying to remember that it is okay to go slow. okay to be sensitive. learning to acknowledge that sometimes I feel hurt from things that are not meant to hurt, and blame from things that do not exist. we spend nights ruminating and internalizing as though they are faults, until we start to apologize for the things inside of us and lose what make us special— not in the get a star on your homework in grade school kind of way, but a ladybug landed on your shoulder and no one saw it way.  I am content in the strangest of ways, I do not think that is contradictory. just amassed in a jumble of weary nights and lukewarm drinks meant to keep our beautiful messes awake a little longer.  I think everyone just wants some validation for the things that they feel. that they are not the crazy ones. and no one is ever all alone. 

wishlist

a place to rest my head
that feels like home

the sun in your mouth
rose and fell
with each utter
of sleepy breath

endure a little longer my dear
it gets better