I promise I will write again soon. today it felt like the things inside got worse. I don’t know what to call them. feelings that I have every now and then. monsters. blessings. the idea of having to fight forever is extremely daunting. there is a part of me that is damaged. I think everyone has this inside of them. some buried deeper than others. I am planting flowers around mine. love...
Anonymous asked: <3<3<3 you're so beautiful to me.
Anonymous asked: hi beautiful nigga. i can't wait to see your face again. i miss you and love you a lot. volleyball will be 20 bajillion times better with you. <3
note to self- stop reading sad books and watching sad movies
so quiet too quiet
beautiful things sprout from the most rotten of experiences. I believe this more than anything, but it is hard to remember when we give in to ourselves and the things we fear the most. I am not neurotic, but sometimes I truly think there is something strange and obscure about this kind of processing— that it is warped in some flower petals drowning in the sea sort of way. I am trying to...
wishlist a place to rest my head that feels like home
the sun in your mouth rose and fell with each utter of sleepy breath
endure a little longer my dear it gets better
all of a sudden I am extremely tired again. it is sunny and I am still tired. how do you prove to someone that it has been enough. I have learned so much over the past year and at the same time it hurts so much to remember. nights on the floor. they were the prettiest color. bright translucent aqua in the palm of my hands. I do not want to remember how close. again and again. sun that could not be...
today I was happy
She’s mad but she’s magic. There’s no lie in her fire.– Charles Bukowski
the nights are terrible sometimes. you sit in bed picking at the things that are wrong with you. there is nothing wrong and it is the hardest thing in the world to believe. I want to love the parts of myself that I can only half accept. it is okay to be sad. it is okay to be sad several times a day. it will pass. it always does. be grateful and capitalize on the times when you feel it in your...
the world is beautiful people are beautiful no matter what no matter what no matter what
it is difficult to convince yourself to feel something that you are still trying to fully believe in erratic is my middle name and I am trying to make it beautiful trying to convince myself it is okay to still still not be able to be still to feel too much and too little dejection does not want to be seen does not want to be recognized and becomes more appparent I feel it in the way that I speak...
how strange it is to feel so much from something as simple as the sleepy breaths coming out of you across the room. this is the best company. there is no doubt about it. the little things are felt the most and cannot be forgotten, like a thousand cranes dropped from building tops, blown across the sky for the world to see.
my mind goes blank when I try to write. I do not like writing about not being able to write. little half constructed thoughts travel with me to class every morning and I think maybe today will be it. maybe I will write something that will make me feel. blank canvases. blank notebooks with torn out pages. there is nothing necessarily wrong with this. I just want my fingers to dance again because I...
slowly but surely said the moon awaiting the next eclipse ships will sink by harbor drowning in the stars saltwater swimming through your veins until you glow inside for all the quiet seas
I cannot help but think that I have lost the ability to write. that I have lost a part of myself that I search for every night through blank white pages of word document. not today, maybe tomorrow, again and again. it is not hiding in the margins. it is not hiding in the spaces between uncertain words. these words do not dance and these fingers are shy. sometimes it is hard not to be sorry for the...