April 2010
I miss coming up with chord progressions and getting frustrated with strum patterns. I have two empty canvases in my room, tucked in the corner of my table. My main sketchbook gets a new S and F scribbled in its top right hand corner maybe once every other week, on good terms. S for start, F for finish. And I write, a lot. And I know that all these things, no matter how much they may be...
http://givesmehope.com
Smile.
“Look outside your window.”
..
“Told you I’d see you today.”
=)
March 2010
I will murder this lab report. It will not exist tonight, bwahaha.
;]
12:19AM-
I just put solution into my contacts case, closed both of them, then realized that I didn’t even take out my contacts in the first place..
Woke up extremely early, stayed in bed and woke up every few minutes. Started the day off with a short, but sweet visit from him. Rest of the day consisted of celebrating Sherry’s birthday with Alice In Wonderland, lunch in Japantown,...
Although the majority of my day was spent indoors, I didn’t mind. Started the day off by getting to see my favorite for a good three hours or so. Rest of the day was occupied with lunch, an unexpected nap, studying, and the rest is insignificant. But, I did like the atmosphere at home today =). Now, to fall asleep with you on the other line.
Looking forward to tomorrow, spending the day...
It’s almost seven, and the sky is a grey abyss. No hint of sun in sight, just the tree across the street swaying as a result of the winds. But for some reason, it brings calmness.
#2 Fly that has been trapped by my shoebox =)! Victoryyyy.
6PM-
Water tower, too bad it’s going to be hella windy.
Listen
elf: (8:21:05 PM) hey elf: (8:21:20 PM) are you willing to watch paranormal activity? aaa: (8:22:00 PM) are you crazy?
Had a pretty vivid dream last night, but I forgot it before I had the chance to write it down. Prom dress shopping with Wendy Lalala. Got the dress, needed alterations, walked down the street to the place, alternations couldn’t be done, had to return the dress. Then the car wouldn’t start, so it had to be jumped haha. Thanks Wendy, you’re a beast =). Currently at home,...
12:25AM-
Over thinking, over analyzing, stretching out the number of scenarios. Character has detached this week; a process of shutting out, as well as a process of confession. I feel like there should be limitations as to what I choose to share with others; I’d rather deal with it myself. External forces affecting within, when they shouldn’t be. Internal forces reaching the...
I miss my camera.
Sandy thinks I’m weird for playing Christmas music.
2:58AM-
TGIF, done. Head is throbbing, but it’s okay; no more wrath of APB work.
Night =).
1:58AM-
Last study guide! Relief is almost here.
2:22AM-
Done. Would have had to pull close to an all nighter if the lab was actually due. Relief.
One more day, one more night.
Two more nights and it’ll be fine.
Have to do some serious training for track. Dynamics have changed, it’s not like eighth grade when I’d be unsatisfied with second place. I can’t even get close to placing now, nor do I have any confidence prior to a race. I want it back. Not looking for redemption yet, not sure if I’ll be looking for it later. Not sure how...
1 tag
I guess this is one of those ‘take what you have and run with it’ kind of moments. I guess I forgot that it’s always like that; you can’t be passive, because you’ll get run over. Life waits for no one, and people get left behind; that’s how it always is. There’s always going to be that lower end of the spectrum, there’s always going to be someone...
1:04AM-
Everything hurts like a fucking bitch right now. All I want to do is sleep and disregard everything.
I’m too compliant. But I shouldn’t be complaining, because I choose to be that way. I choose to disregard everything; I’d rather not take help, I’d rather struggle and figure things out myself. I’m an anal bitch. I’m done with punishing myself, I’m done with turning towards irrational measures for a sense of relief. I’m extremely double sided, I...
Mm, temporarily crestfallen.
Done with homework for the night. About to be a heavy loaded week work wise, but makes it better knowing that relief is only a mere five days away. The countdown begins, even though I’m strangely not completely excited about break. Mediocre day, but it’s okay. After all, days are only twenty-four hours anyway.
aaa: (9:27:42 PM) i shall finish by 9:45. 721: (9:30:16 PM) i like that aaa: (9:30:24 PM) i like you 721: (9:30:44 PM) VWHAT!! aaa: (9:30:53 PM) i love you 721: (9:31:11 PM) aww i love you too =] aaa: (9:31:17 PM) ..loser 721: (9:31:27 PM) i knew you were going to say that…
I had an amazing day, I hope it doesn’t fall out of my memory. I’ve been frustrated lately with my inability to remember things on a long term basis; instead, the memories deteriorate and I’m left trying to piece events back together, attempting to make sense out of them. Contemplating on creating a journal in which I document every single day. But if I can’t remember...
Inspired, but the nerves are kicking in like crazy. I forgot what an extreme case of butterflies felt like, I don’t like it, haha.
12:48AM-
Studying, because I don’t want to wake up with a pang of regret.
Open curtain. Tomorrow’s about to be beautiful, just doesn’t feel that way yet.
Went in for tutoring today and learned/understood all this shit. I’m not studying tonight. Probably my stupidest reaction yet.
I’m keeping these shoes for the next few months and you have to understand that. I get that my grades and SAT scores are average and aren’t exactly up to par, but I’ve been working on it. Don’t tell me that I’m wasting my time, and don’t tell me that I haven’t been productive for the past few months. You don’t fucking understand that I’ve...
Woke up discouraged to find that the sky was hidden behind a thin layer of fog. Eventually faded away and exposed our backdrop. Great day.
When we spend time together, you always ask me what my favorite part of the day was. It wasn’t being wrapped in your arms for hours underneath the sun, it wasn’t even when I rediscovered the joy in instant cameras. It was after you finished...
12:52AM-
Sleeping with half my curtains open, so the streetlights can be visible, and the night sky just out of reach.
Goodnight.
Philana,
Stop spelling my name wrong, it makes me sad =(. And reminding you of green!
I think I would pass up on an opportunity to start over. I would pass up on the chance to pick out certain bits of life, and rid myself of them. It doesn’t work that way, nor is it supposed to. The worst feeling is regret, but it also holds the most contradiction. Because at some point in your life, you made a decision that you at least partially sided with, a decision that you...
The stress level due to school has definitely increased, precal has been a bitch lately. Last quarter was all nice and dandy, kind of unfortunate that I find myself unable to understand any of the new material. Third week of the new quarter, deficiency notices are a heart breaker. I’d like to be optimistic, but I have the intelligence level of an imbecile when it comes to this class. I...
I had a great day, woke up disoriented until I realized that behind my two layers of curtains, was sun. Picked up at 8:30 by Andrew and Sandy to go volunteer at the food bank. First half, cut through packs of cans; second half, ripped and flattened out boxes. Burger King for lunch, oops. Went through hella traffic to go pick up Erik, but I like longer than necessary car rides, which explains...
Throughout 09-10
June 2008 - March 10, 2010 RIP Canon Powershot SD750 Will be missed greatly.
sleepless-in-sf:
My name is derrick duario, louisa made me do chubby bunny with four cookies….
Tiff is my all time chubby bunny. (:
tgif!
12:24AM-
Plagued. I haven’t sketched or painted anything in a while, I haven’t picked up the guitar in a long while, and I never went back to the Jewish Home like I said I would. I miss myself, I miss creating things; I miss the feeling I get after looking at a completed drawing, or the feeling after learning a new song. I miss volunteering at the cafe. I never found the time to...
12:00AM-
Watched airplanes land and take off; I’ve always been attracted to things that fly. I’m attracted to the notion that anything can take flight and ascend, and become whatever it wants to be. I associate flying with dreams, and I see airplanes as a representation of freedom. Fly anywhere in the world with a slip of paper and a few documents . Fly anywhere in the world over...
I used to want this shit forever, but ya'll can...
(via lastwinter)
I have hi-chews.
Now, my life is temporarily complete =).
Don’t even knowwwwwwww.
The priorities have been set; I’m distancing myself from something that I thought I would never put on hiatus. I guess it can’t exactly be defined as a pause, but I’m viewing it as an unofficial intermission. Currently, it’s all internal. It’s not where my heart is at right now, it’s not where my mind is at; and it’s not where my heart or mind should be...
