I want to write

but in all honesty I think I’m a bit scared. of the words that may come out.
and I’m a bit under right now. but it’ll be okay. it’s always okay. I don’t know how to wake up tomorrow. or today. in a few hours. tournament day. I need to figure this all out soon. 

that would probably be a good idea. but this balcony is nice. and the sky is off orange. 

and I want to touch it. until it turns blue. like ocean waves. that felt a little bolder. than off blue.